The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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