3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize