I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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