I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
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I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
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I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize