Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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