apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
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He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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