and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
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You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
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The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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