Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
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She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
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