well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
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I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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