ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize