no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
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It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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