some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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