dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
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i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
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javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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