I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize