It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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