A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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