I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize