I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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