ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Send help, water and tortillas.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I enjoy the company of your penis
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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