i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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