My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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