After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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