He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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