Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
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afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
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i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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