Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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