Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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