U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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