Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
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Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
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pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I would fuck him just for his dog
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