Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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