DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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