life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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