The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You're a waste of cheezeits
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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