Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
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What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
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I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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