maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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