hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize