I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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