Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize