I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
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When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
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So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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