He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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