Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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