You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
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Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
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She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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