Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
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She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
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I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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