I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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