We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
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Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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