I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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