she looked like the before picture.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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