Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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