I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize