Who wears a wallet chain?!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
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there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
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We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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