Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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